Tag: Dona Murphy

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Memento Mori by Dona Murphy

Voices speaking, I can barely hear them;
clouds shrouding the moon muffle and baffle.
But I heard and once I heard I had to listen
and once I listened I had to go. Go
out into the stone-dark night and the moon-white
there in the dark was a light in the dark
from the ground, all around
up rose the bones ash grey and dull silver.
Theirs were the voices that called
begging to be pulled from the dark, to be…
My hands dirt-smeared and damp, I draw them
out: long and slim, short and round
Thigh and shin, knee and skull-crown.
Gleaming clean, freed of flesh
they bear no scars.
They shine in the light of the stars.
They whisper thanks, they murmur their stories
they call softly to the ghosts who miss them
the spirits who seek them, who want only to be with them –
together, together again.
When? They ask, when?

About the Author: Dona Murphy

Dona Murphy is the owner of Destiny Tarot. She lives and works in Lake Bluff Illinois as a Tarot reader, Intuitive Counselor and Life Coach. Dona combines her metaphysical and spiritual studies, natural gifts and real-world experience to help her clients solve problems and live their best lives. As she says, “The cards don’t predict your future, they help you create it”.

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Instrumental: The Persistence of Memory – Retrogrades by Dona Murphy

We’ve been under the powerful influence of retrograde planets lately. We’ve just completed a Venus retrograde and right on its heels, a Mercury retrograde began. A long list of “re-”s accompany these retrogrades: regret, remorse, review, redo, revisit, revise, re-evaluate; sometimes the “re”turn of ghosts from the past. All of these can be gifts to us. They’re an invitation to look to the past for what’s “re”levant and use it to our best benefit in the present.

The Venus retrograde through Libra and Scorpio increased passion and sexual tension. This affected real-time interactions with current or former lovers and partners – or both. It also affected dreams and memories, with the past springing up at unexpected moments.

Did you feel a longing for the past? Did your memories of a relationship with a former lover make you feel uncomfortable? Sad? Aroused?

My own surfacing memories prompted me to meditate on the Six of Cups – the Minor Arcana Tarot card that keys to reminiscence, return and memories of past experiences and associations. In short, the card is symbolic of nostalgia. This card’s astrological correspondence is the Sun in Scorpio.

In the Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot there is less emphasis on the sexual aspects of the Sun in Scorpio. Its general meanings are nostalgia, revisiting the past, recalling childhood memories, and also joy and pleasure. In reverse and under the influence of the Venus retrograde – we may have discovered that we were clinging to the past or trying to live in the past; dwelling on past hurts and disappointments; yearning for past relationships or people that were not healthy for us or that we’ve outgrown and no longer serve us.

Using the Crowley-Harris or Thoth Tarot, the general meaning of the card is more centrally focused on the most natural expression of the Sun in Scorpio. All forms of pleasure – including sexual fulfillment – are inherent in this card. There is both a depth and a natural transcendence here that goes beyond the momentary gratification of desire. In union with another, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This is our highest consciousness expressed through our emotions and feelings. If ill-dignified – as is possible under the influence of retrograde Venus transiting Scorpio – unhealthy sexual expression, jealousy and attracting the wrong partners may have been the outcome.

Our longing for the past – that sometimes inexplicable deep-dive into memories and feelings – all slightly tinged with melancholy, can take up a lot of emotional real estate.

I experienced a series of highly-detailed and vivid dreams about some of my past lovers. On many mornings I woke feeling almost hungover, thinking about the past and re-experiencing feelings I hadn’t examined for many years. I will confess to some quick Google searches (I plead human frailty). To my credit, I didn’t take any impulsive or potentially destructive actions.

But I did allow myself to reframe my feelings and put them into the context of my present life (pretty damn good) and my present relationship (damn good). I can’t claim to have learned something completely new but I was able to look at the present from a refreshed, positive and contented perspective. The gift of a retrograde indeed.

Then, just as Venus stationed direct on November 16th, Mercury went retrograde. Although it will spend a brief portion of this retrograde in Scorpio, most of this transit will be through Sagittarius. During 2018 all of the Mercury retrograde periods have been in Fire signs – Aries, Leo and now Sagittarius.

The energy of Mercury in Sagittarius can be difficult to manage. This planet and the sign have much in common such as communication, travel and education. But Mercury the Messenger is more concerned with the local, short-term and specific while Sagittarius the Archer has his arrow aimed at the higher, long-term and global aspects of these areas. Reconciling these as complementary energies or allowing them to cause conflict is the challenge.

The Minor Arcana Tarot Card corresponding to Mercury in Sagittarius is the Eight of Wands. Both the Rider-Waite-Smith and Crowley-Harris (Thoth) Tarot share the general meaning of this card: swiftness, action, ambition, travel and rapid transmission of information; dynamic events and communication.

When reversed or ill-dignified as they may be under the influence of Mercury retrograde – there may be communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, technological glitches or failures, anxiety, tension, delayed or canceled travel plans and a slow-down or stop to our activities.

In addition this retrograde shares with the Venus retrograde the tendency to dwell on former experiences, reminisce about the past, or unexpectedly meet up with people from your past.

See? True to retrograde form, we’ve returned to where we started. Catch you on the flip side.

About the Author: Dona Murphy

Dona Murphy is the owner of Destiny Tarot. She lives and works in Lake Bluff Illinois as a Tarot reader, Intuitive Counselor and Life Coach. Dona combines her metaphysical and spiritual studies, natural gifts and real-world experience to help her clients solve problems and live their best lives. As she says, “The cards don’t predict your future, they help you create it”.

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Typical (Tarot) Tuesday with Dona Murphy

Full disclosure: a typical Tuesday for me is pretty much like any other day of the week.  I am in happily indentured servitude to an elderly cat who has several nicknames including SWMBO (that’s Swimbo) – She Who Must Be Obeyed. No day starts without attending to her needs first. No exceptions. Although I am allowed a quick trip to the bathroom so we’re not both trying to use the litter-box at the same time.

After meeting the physical and emotional requirements of her most exalted and revered personage, my day is then pretty much my own.

Tuesday – or Tarot Tuesday – is the day my weekly Tarotcast gets published. This practice grew out of my Tarot Tuesday live radio shows/podcasts from back in the day. I draw the card of the week at random. The general meaning of each card remains consistent. The real-time astrological aspects of that week are compared to or contrasted with the energy of the card, resulting in a forecast of what we can expect for the week ahead.  The interpretation combines the influences of Tarot and Astrology. I also include power colors, metals and gemstones as well as scents and foods to use that enhance or help balance out the energies of the week. (Home alchemy!).

Spring is in the air at least in theory – the weather hasn’t quite gotten the message yet. So I meditated on the theme of this issue. What does it mean to cultivate? Though not chosen at random, the four Tarot cards that follow show me the ways we grow. Whether plants or people; whether the growth is literal, physical, emotional or spiritual.

The suit of Disks (Pentacles, Coins) in the Minor Arcana of the Tarot represents the Earth element. Perfect for the physical preparation of soil to grow crops or plants!

The Ace of Disks shows us the potential for reaping the rewards of our efforts. With careful planning and preparation, with diligence and patience, our gardens will grow. Food will nourish our bodies. Beautiful flowers and plants will nourish our souls.

The Nine of Disks shows us a lush and fruitful garden. It thrives through thoughtful and careful fostering. The gardener herself has also grown in self-confidence, independence and wisdom.

The Empress of the Major Arcana is the Mother – she is the archetype of fertility and the spring of the year. She encourages her children and loved ones with unconditional love. She furthers their growth and development. In extreme circumstances she will sacrifice herself if necessary, but she isn’t a martyr.   She can make the seed of an idea manifest in the physical world. She fiercely protects newly-born creations.

The Hermit of the Major Arcana is the Wise Teacher – he extends his hand to help others and lifts his lamp to illuminate the darkness. He shares his knowledge and wisdom. He encourages the seeker to study, practice and refine his or her own body of knowledge; then to journey within to develop his or her own wisdom. He is the fulfillment of the cycle of growth and represents the harvest. He is the autumn of the year – when the crops are successfully gathered, the earth goes dormant. From that withdrawal and rest will come rebirth.

This year Pluto will retrograde in the Earth-sign of Capricorn on April 22nd and will turn direct on September 30th. Retrograde planets all create their own unique blend of mischief and benefit. There is no retrograde planet better for getting us to complete old projects, abandon old patterns, and clear up any leftover detritus than Pluto – the planet of destruction and regeneration. Whatever the challenge or problem in our lives that appears insurmountable, irreparable or unchanging – it could turn out to be as insubstantial and fleeting as the April rain and early spring blooms. Here today, gone tomorrow.

Starting with the spring planting, we begin anew. With renewal comes both a touch of melancholy and a spark of tender hope. We are bidding farewell to the past while welcoming a still-uncertain future. In the autumn we reap what we have sown and tended. In between, I do my best to cultivate patience, even when I’m restless – especially then.

Here is Pluto retrograde’s beautiful strangeness described by T.S. Eliot in The Waste Land:

“That corpse you planted last year in your garden,
“Has it begun to sprout? Will it bloom this year?
“Or has the sudden frost disturbed its bed?”

I hope my garden (and yours) sprouts nothing any more (or less) exotic than tulips and daffodils. But typical Tuesdays can be strange days indeed.

About the Author: Dona Murphy

Dona Murphy is the owner of Destiny Tarot. She lives and works in Lake Bluff Illinois as a Tarot reader, Intuitive Counselor and Life Coach. Dona combines her metaphysical and spiritual studies, natural gifts and real-world experience to help her clients solve problems and live their best lives. As she says, “The cards don’t predict your future, they help you create it”.

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Instrumental: How to Be an Ex-Drama Queen by Dona Murphy

I’m a sun-sign Pisces with a Leo moon sign: very emotional, definite flair for the dramatic and not shy about performing. It’s no mistake that in my younger years my Mom used to call me Sarah Bernhardt. Before your time? Heck, Sarah B. was before my time AND my Mom’s. Called the greatest stage actress in the world, the Divine Sarah ruled at a time when stage acting was very much larger than life.

Through the phases of childish acting out, teenage histrionics, and young adulthood I learned that drama wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. That lesson came with having to face and deal with real-life crises rather than ones I created from nothing. The real world can be a pretty tough and uncaring place. Drama Queens often learn the very hard way that frankly my dear, no one gives a damn.

There are plenty of Drama Kings – the male counterpart of the Drama Queen – and I’m not overlooking them here. For ease of discussion, I’ll use the term Drama Queens (or even DQs) as all-inclusive.

You can whine, cry, lock yourself in your room, throw yourself on your bed, weep and wail. Unless someone’s paying attention only you will feel and suffer the effects of your drama. The plain truth? Often no one is paying any attention.

Being a Drama Queen has never solved a problem and it often makes an existing problem even worse. We can start with an honest self-evaluation of our behavior. Ask, “How does this contribute to solving the problem?” If the answer is, “It doesn’t”, we’re on the way to overcoming the non-productive, destructive behavior. Logic can help us get over ourselves.

Drama Queen syndrome grows from self-centeredness and self-absorption.

For the DQ, “It’s all about me, all the time”. The growing-up process resolves a lot of this and we’re excused while we’re young and in our developmental years (toddler to teenager). It’s getting old by the time we reach young adulthood and is unappealing and ridiculous beyond that. It’s not easy being around someone addicted to drama.

So what about the people we know – or ourselves – who live from one crisis to another? There are people we know – or see when we look in the mirror – who seem to crave drama, create drama and appear to seek drama. You will find the Drama Queen who swears that she (or he) wants a drama-free life but drama seeks her (or him) out.

I’m not buying. Anyone who wants a drama-free (notice I didn’t say “problem-free?”) life can have one. It’s a choice. But being a Drama Queen can be like other emotionally-addictive behaviors. It can be a challenge to stop even when we’ve identified that the behavior doesn’t serve us or our best interests.

So what does it mean when we say someone is – or we describe ourselves as – or someone else says we are – a Drama Queen?

It usually means a person who over-reacts in a highly emotional way to any minor event, problem or setback. These are negatives – DQs don’t go over the top about the happy, lucky, even miraculous moments in life. The DQ has an emotional outburst that’s completely out of proportion to the event, problem or setback that has caused the upset (the “trigger”). Quite often, there is no trigger. The Drama Queen produces not only a tempest in a teacup, but also creates the teacup, saucer and tea from thin air.

The DQ is often the center of a constant whirlwind of frenzied but mostly unproductive activity. There is a sense that things are already out of control or are on the verge of going out of control. They navigate everyday life with overly-dramatic, negative thoughts, words and actions. They go off the emotional deep end whenever there’s the smallest disturbance in their world.

Movies, soap operas and other works of fiction – including reality TV programs – are full of examples. If you’ve seen “Gone with the Wind,” you’ll recognize Scarlett O’Hara as a classic drama queen. She was a beautiful, strong-willed survivor capable of withstanding and overcoming tremendous hardship. She was also her own worst enemy – a spoiled brat, vain and self-indulgent.

Some of the most enduring and charismatic fictional characters are DQs. The reader or viewer understands that this isn’t a real person. Drama is conflict and tension, and we’ve come to expect and accept over the top, bigger than life characters.

Popular, pervasive so-called reality TV has brought the dysfunctional lives of neurotic and outright psychotic men and women right into our living rooms. These are Drama Queens in their full, uh – glory.

All I can say is – if you enjoy these shows, check your own level of DQ. Why? Because the more over the top and extreme behaviors we see, the easier to excuse or rationalize own behavior. Enjoy these shows for their outrageousness. Do not use them as a model for your own behavior or for what’s acceptable behavior from others. Have fun and take them with the proverbial grain of salt. They’re supposed to entertain, not instruct.

What are some of the reasons for being a Drama Queen? What do they (or we) get out of it? What’s the payoff? Can we make it stop? How?

There are times when a person is in real trouble – emotional pain and turmoil, grief, loss, illness, extreme financial, personal or professional crisis. Needing and asking for help, support, encouragement and genuine sympathy is appropriate at those times. Not all extremes of emotion are the result of an addiction to drama.

Aside from these situations, here are some reasons Drama Queens create drama and some healthy alternatives:

Boredom

Simple as it sounds, this is one of the main reasons why drama queens behave the way they do. They’re just plain bored, and they haven’t found better, more creative and adaptive ways to deal with it.

Creating drama and a scene makes them feel that something interesting is happening. When boredom combines with underlying insecurities, the creation of drama serves as a distraction. No one sees that the DQ feels vulnerable, sad or frightened.

How much more effective it would be to turn to a trusted friend and say, “I’m sad. I’m scared,” and receive comfort and reassurance. Acknowledging and accepting the insecure feelings can bring real comfort from caring others and give the individual an opportunity to self-soothe.

A first step is to get – and be willing to stay – bored. Dealing with the comparative boredom of a life without created drama is a useful tool. Then consider finding an enjoyable, engrossing hobby such as drawing or painting, beading or other craft. It doesn’t matter if you’re good at it, you don’t need to be a fine artist. Redirecting the same imagination used for whipping up drama creates activity that gets you outside of your own head and into something positive, relaxing and fun.

Family background

Parents or other important adults who use high-level drama to deal with life’s challenges, frustrations and problems become role models for growing DQs.

You or someone you know believes their problems growing up were monumental (and sometimes, they were). You or they may also believe that no one else ever had it worse than they; that everyone else lived a happy, carefree, perfect childhood. Both of these things are untrue. This is the basis for justifying behaving like a Drama Queen. We’re not kids anymore. We can choose different, better ways to deal with our problems. First, by realizing that no matter how bad things were or are, they could actually be worse. Next by understanding that if they couldn’t be worse, drama will not resolve them.

We can achieve a balance. Self-care that includes changing our internal dialog combined with time spent focusing on and helping others creates a balanced world view. It can help us gain a more realistic perspective on our problems. We can find a new appreciation of all the things in our lives for which we can be grateful.

Seeking sympathy

This is a classic trait of a drama queen – poor little me! DQs often cultivate a sad, down, or worried demeanor. If asked, “How are you?” The answer is never “Good” or even, “OK.” They – and things in their lives – are always terrible, awful, dire and in an unstoppable downward spiral. Life always sucks. The DQ’s story is: “I’ve had such a bad life and I never get a break. Please, please feel sorry for me”.

A DQ who learns to engage in gentle, positive self-talk, practices daily rituals, prayers and meditations is able to support and comfort themselves. In this way, others need not be the only source of love and sympathy for the DQ.

Manipulating others

Manipulating others combined with sympathy-seeking takes advantage of other people. It makes them responsible for our well-being. The DQ’s story: “Now that I have you feeling sorry for me, of course you must help and rescue me! I’m in so much trouble and pain, you must take care of me!”

The need to have others come to our rescue reinforces the belief that we are victims. With practice we can learn to see ourselves as responsible and competent. Finding our own solutions to life’s problems and setbacks (especially the real ones!) is empowering. Then, it’s ok to ask for help. We don’t need to do it alone, but no one else can do it for us without our active participation.

Avoidance

Many DQs don’t want to deal with real issues and would rather cause a scene and seek attention – even if it’s negative attention. Heaven help you if you offer constructive solutions. They will shoot every one of them down or dismiss them. Their story is: “I can’t deal with that right now, there’s too much going on in my life”. There will always be too much going on in their lives so they don’t have to seek ways to create productive change.

DQ behavior is not about problem-solving, whether the problems are real or imagined. Go back to step one – and allow yourself (or the DQ in your life) to get and stay bored for a while. Along with several of the alternatives already mentioned a DQ can stop avoiding and start living.

Seeking attention

Drama Queens often have low self-esteem and believe that they aren’t noticed for anything positive; or aren’t noticed at all. They believe complaining, whining and blowing things out of proportion are the best ways of getting the attention they want and need.

Many people can only take Drama Queens in small doses and many others can’t take them at all. The result is that this type of attention-seeking works in reverse. DQs end up making a negative impression on other people who then distance themselves from the DQ rather than form a close relationship.

Go to a trusted friend (not everyone in your contacts list). Ask that person to share honestly with you a good quality they appreciate about you, or one memory they have of you that is positive and affirming. Do one small, anonymous act of kindness and don’t tell anyone about it. Enjoy it for the good feelings you get from it and notice yourself doing something good. You don’t have to change the whole world to make a difference.

The Rush

DQs enjoy creating drama for the adrenaline rush it provides. Living the Drama Queen life can be an emotional addiction. Emotions and behaviors create chemicals in the body. The body gets used to having those chemicals around, then becomes dependent on the chemicals. This sparks the craving for more of them, the way a physically-addicted person’s body demands their drug of choice.

Unlike physical dependencies where we know what it is we’re hooked on, with drama addiction we’re not aware of the fact that we’ve got a monkey on our backs. We know that we have a habitual way of acting or reacting and think that is who we are, it’s our identity. It’s not our “self” – it’s our brains and bodies trying to keep a stable chemical balance.

They (or we) feel pleasure, enjoyment or a rush – the reward for creating an uproar. A DQ may need professional help in kicking the habit.

Living in the present, self-talk that provides reassurance and comfort, and mind-body integration through deep breathing and regular, moderate physical exercise are useful coping strategies in stressful situations and times of crisis. With practice, these learned behaviors offer a happier, healthier outcome than drama-creation and drama-seeking.

Using pleasurable but calming sensory techniques and tools – aromatherapy, a walk in a beautiful park or other natural setting, even purchasing or gathering a bouquet of beautiful flowers to arrange and enjoy can all produce feel-good chemicals in our brains too – without the “side-effects” of drama.

Being able to tolerate the discomfort of not going into Drama-Queen mode helps one realize how unproductive and unsatisfying it is. Drama addiction doesn’t serve our highest good and only brings us temporary satisfaction. It doesn’t bring us any closer to the things we really want: happy, healthy relationships, peace of mind, to have and enjoy the good things in life. When we know what we’re doing isn’t working, it’s time to let it go and do something different.

A DQ deciding to abdicate the throne will probably find life dull, empty and boring at first. But that means finding and developing real ways to make life pleasant and fulfilling. Nature abhors a vacuum – and there are other, more meaningful and genuine experiences available to fill the void.

Understanding what makes a Drama Queen behave the way they do is unlikely to change their behavior. You might encourage them let go of some of the underlying causes for their habit. Remember that the choice to change is theirs alone.

You need to manage your own boundaries and maintain your own methods of healthy self-care, including knowing when to walk away. Of course if you’re the DQ, you now have some tools to help you hang up your tiara for good. Not ready yet? No worries – remember, “Tomorrow is another day.”

About the Author: Dona Murphy

Dona Murphy is the owner of Destiny Tarot. She lives and works in Lake Bluff Illinois as a Tarot reader, Intuitive Counselor and Life Coach. Dona combines her metaphysical and spiritual studies, natural gifts and real-world experience to help her clients solve problems and live their best lives. As she says, “The cards don’t predict your future, they help you create it”.

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Hope is Never Lost by Dona Murphy

I had a client who was very anxious about the development of a relationship say to me, “I know you’re always honest with me. I just don’t want to have false hope.” That set me back a little – to me, hope is never “false” at least not as I define hope. Hope is dynamic and evolving.

Hope is not an attachment to a specific outcome to the exclusion of all other possibilities.

I watched a beloved relative of mine battle cancer for several years. His hopes and ours – our desires – changed form and expression as circumstances changed. Life happened. First we hoped for his disease to go into full remission. Then we hoped for a good quality of life for as long as possible, and finally we hoped for a peaceful death with dignity.

None of those hopes were false.

The false belief that only one person, situation or outcome is the best and most desirable leads us to give up hope. The belief that only one specific thing will make us happy can render a situation hopeless.  We mistake our preferences which are temporary and mutable as the absolute best thing for us.

We forget that our conscious, ego-minds operate from a limited perspective. We lack objectivity. Our conscious minds see through a narrow filter. We have the power to create and influence our circumstances. We define our own experiences.  But we forget that we are neither all-knowing nor all-powerful. Our ego-minds need and want control. We forget that we are co-creators. The divine spark of creative power within us doesn’t guarantee lives free of pain and loss. Pain and pleasure, gain and loss, happiness and sadness are the birthright of every life.

The Universe (the All-Mind) contains and resolves our experiences through unity, oneness, wholeness.

Another way we fall into error is that sometimes we don’t realize all the possibilities that are open to us. If anything most of us make the mistake of dreaming too small; we don’t ask for or expect too much, but too little. We cheat ourselves by fixating on something that might represent a fraction of all that could be ours. What we long for may not serve our highest good. It might disappoint us rather than bringing us the joy and fulfillment we desire. Having hope allows us to receive in ways that can far exceed our expectations.

It’s not hope that is false, it’s the limits we impose either on ourselves or on the Universe. There are limits not to what we can desire or hope for but to what we can control. The Universe is limitless. All we need is to gratefully and graciously receive. Falsehoods eliminated.

I know these things: “What is yours will not pass you by” (anonymous) and “What you’re seeking is seeking you” (Wayne Dyer).

You will hope. If you claim your desire knowing that its own fulfillment is contained within it, you will not hope in vain. Hope is asking for what you desire and then opening yourself to receive what the Universe gives you. If you will hope, you will find your desires fulfilled. Hope is an invitation to believe and trust. Believe that you are part of a limitless, loving Universe. Trust that the Universe always provides exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

If you will, hope.

About the Author: Dona Murphy

Dona Murphy is the owner of Destiny Tarot. She lives and works in Lake Bluff Illinois as a Tarot reader, Intuitive Counselor and Life Coach. Dona combines her metaphysical and spiritual studies, natural gifts and real-world experience to help her clients solve problems and live their best lives. As she says, “The cards don’t predict your future, they help you create it”.

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My First Kriya Yoga by Dona Murphy

I am not a morning person.

At 5:30 a.m., the 40-day kriya yoga practice I committed to seems like a terrible idea. There is faint light coming through my bedroom windows. The shadows hide danger – slippers I could trip over. A cold hairball left by my elderly cat; ready and waiting for my careless foot.

This is life in the gray. I want my life orderly and organized. Light, bright and clear over here please; dark, obscure and unknown over there. Where I can keep an eye on you, or better yet – a lid. Accelerating through bright flashes and dark voids is disorienting. The chaos feels a lot like living under a strobe light. Without the music. Without the Moet. Without the molly but with all the bashing and bruising of a righteous molly-whop.

Repeating patterns are what I see as I brew tea and prepare myself for this morning’s meditation. Daily I work to discard what no longer serves, to see old patterns dissolve while new ones take shape. Transcending both the old and the new by being in the present moment, in the breath, is the challenge of the morning. Every morning.

Today joy bubbles up and I laugh for no reason as I begin to chant. My hands form the mudras. Yesterday morning I wept. I had no other way to expel the rage and sorrow that climbed up my throat and had to come out but for which I found no words.

I’m riding a roller coaster – and how I hate roller coasters. But how else can the spark within grow and find its own expression? What lives in us ready to destroy and negate is also ready to create and affirm. Unleashing it is frightening, exhilarating, seductive – necessary.

Enhanced expression and communication is the purpose of this practice. I serve my clients through speaking (and active listening), so I can’t work without my voice. I’ve suffered with a bad respiratory infection including laryngitis through most of this. The Universe was not going for subtlety. I began to question how I could help my clients find their voices – if I couldn’t use, find or trust my own.

As day 35 drew to a close I was healthy, my voice was strong and I knew I was in the home stretch. I knew I could complete this and I felt clean and ready to receive. I reached day 40 primed and ready to say “yes” – to anything and everything. I am welcoming what I am offered; ready to embrace and accept and celebrate.

I didn’t become a morning person. On day 41 I slept in.

I still don’t like roller-coasters. You won’t see me at the local street fair or at Six Flags Great America even though it’s only a few miles away from where I live. You will see me here, often I hope. I’ve kindled the light inside and climbed out of the comfort zone where it was oh-so-easy to hide.

One of the greatest gifts of working with my clients is the chance to learn while teaching. I have the opportunity to grow by nurturing growth in another. The generous mentor and teacher leading the kriya shared her own experiences with us. She was transparent about her own challenges and triumphs, highs and lows. This gave me the freedom and space to do likewise with my own, and I am grateful.

The light, the dark, and all the various shades of gray look different to me now. They’ve opened to me for exploration and integration. The colors of the spectrum are alive in my body and in the world I look at with new awareness.

Good day.

About the Author: Dona Murphy

Dona Murphy is the owner of Destiny Tarot. She lives and works in Lake Bluff Illinois as a Tarot reader, Intuitive Counselor and Life Coach. Dona combines her metaphysical and spiritual studies, natural gifts and real-world experience to help her clients solve problems and live their best lives. As she says, “The cards don’t predict your future, they help you create it”.